On Moonlight Bay (1951) starring Doris Day.
I have so many feelings about this movie.
At first those feelings were hatred. I thought that this was a poor man's version of Meet Me in St. Louis. There's basically no plot - just a period piece about a family with a daughter involved in a romance and a younger child who is spunky / mischievous. The seasons go by.... there's singing..... etc. I thought that the people behind the movie figured - "It worked for Judy Garland, let's try it for Doris Day!"
Well, by the end of the movie I still thought it was a lesser version of MMiSL but I was OBSESSED WITH IT! This movie is so strange and random that I couldn't not love it.
One of the things that I really didn't like about the movie was that Doris's character (Marjorie Winfield) was supposed to be a tomboy and really good at baseball....
..... but after a spanking / meet-cute with this guy, she gives it all up for boys and romance. LAME-O.
Anyway. She falls in love with the boy next door (just like Judy in MMiSL). And he's a nut bag - always going off about how he doesn't believe in marriage and other such things (that's not such a nut bag thing to believe, but the way he carries on about it is).
She is consistently moony about him even though he's terrible.
That sounds annoying, but in this case it's pretty hilarious.
The transition from tomboy to girly-girl is complete once her mom stuffs some powder puffs into her bra. SO NATURAL. Yeah. Powder puffs mimic the feel of boob flesh almost as accurately as bags of sand do.
Here's Moonlight Bay. Another reason the movie's like MMiSL - the title is completely arbitrary and taken from the title of a song they just shoved into the movie.
HER BOOB FELL OUT! But he's not deterred....
..... they go on to share a romantic moment inside an unlit house - once again - JUST LIKE MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS! INSANEEEEEEE. PLAGIARISMMMMMMMMM.
The more I think about it, this movie is to MMiSL almost like Scary Movie is to Scream - just a ridiculous version of it. Only different because (unfortunately) this isn't an actual parody, but whatever. Similar. Similar.
..... hello romance! (More like - hello sitting on the porch while my boyfriend plays records and forces me to listen to him singing along with them).
Creepiest doll ever.
Winsomely singing to the kewpie doll. Watch here.
That's her younger brother. More on him later. But just know....
HE IS NOW ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIE CHARACTERS EVER. Ten times better than MMiSL's Tootie.
Those snowmen look as much like actual snowmen as powder puffs look like boobs.
THIS GUY! He is just an AMAZING rapscallion. The faces. The actions. Just. I can't even. You need to watch. WESLEY!
BONUS! - in the background you see Mary Wickes aka the best nun in the prestigious Sister Act films.
You can watch her perform here just for kicks.
PLUS! She's in my favorite movie ever (yeah, she's Aunt March in Little Women).
Naturally I approve of this movie theater name.
The most over-the-top / ridiculous / amazing movie of all time. You see the entire thing. As you watch you think - "including this sure is random", BUT LITTLE DO YOU KNOW that everything will all tie together in the end. This movie's BASICALLY a precursor to Inception or something. Basically.
Yeah, they'll straighten that sucker right out like a ceramic flat iron.
As if the absurd scared-straight-style captions weren't enough, these faces!
Literally my favorite child actor ever. Darling devient.
The surreal portion of the film during which Wesley just floats up and out of his body.
To get out of trouble he retells the story from the movie to his teacher, as though his father is the abusive drunkard. Obviously, this will all backfire / come back to haunt him.
The Wesley's story butterfly-effects all over the place, the boyfriend hears and comes to beat dear old dad up (he thinks the dad broke Doris's leg, you see).
I love that he comes to commit violence DRESSED LIKE A PIMP. For no apparent reason.
This is a great scene that actually caused me to laugh out loud. As much as I appreciate old movies, it's not often that they actually make me audibly laugh. Yet this one did.
"If I dress up as an angel and carol, maybe they don't be mad at me for making the whole town think that dad's an abusive drunk!" It works.
Doris stealing the adorable children caroler's thunder by breaking in to sing herself. Yeah, it's def. not a "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" moment. Doesn't work. Watch here.
Still up to no good.
Doris's boyfriend is the valedictorian and in the midst of his speech announces that he (and a crew of his classmates) are enlisting to fight in WWII - of course he didn't tell Doris! Best way to break something to the gf is always during a speech. Always.
Doris is all sad and mopey back in the Victorian house (ALSO like MMiSL), but he's just a merry little shit leading his fellow soldiers in rousing song.
This lady arrives on Wesley's birthday and....
....... procedes to give him this grisly-looking knife. Does she not know this boy at all?
Note mom's displeasure.
You know, I hate gender-stereotyping just as much as the next person who cares about things like that, but even I think that this cake is NOT exactly made for a little boy.
Morose and missing her man (you notice that we've gone through all the seasons so the movie must almost be over).
Well - predictably - he ends up proposing to her (that pesky down with marriage inclination conveniently forgotten).
And Wesley slyly sharpens his knife and plans his next escapade..... with an adorable scrappy dog at his side.
See all the previous movie posts here.