The Swarm

Without a doubt the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life.

No exaggeration whatsoever. Dull. Ridiculous. Horrible. And yet I'm doing a post on it! AS A WARNING! Stay away from this movie. I doubt you were tempted to go near this movie, but still. Still.
The Swarm (1978) starring Michael Caine and Katharine Ross.... obviously they're the reason I watched this movie: I will forever hold a grudge against the two of them for it. 

Brief summary (via) - 
Entomologist Brad Crane (Michael Caine) and his crack team of scientists attempt to intervene when swarms of voracious killer bees begin attacking a number of cities in Texas, and an army general threatens to use military firepower against this force of nature.
netflix / imdb / wikipedia / watch (at your own risk)
I think you're starting to understand how ridiculous this movie is. SO MANY BEES. 

People make fun of the movie Anaconda, but at least the anaconda was scary! No matter how threatening the idea of a killer bee is, it just isn't very cinematic. 
After you've been stung by one of the bees, you hallucinate giant versions of them. 

You may look a this shot and think, "Oh! This is one of those movies that's so bad, it's good!" Inaccurate. It's way too long and slow moving for that.
The writer threw in an elaborate sub-plot featuring a love triangle amongst some semi-elderly folks. Why? No one knows. The whole trio is later summarily killed off in a train accident. That plot is never wrapped up. Why was it included?!?!?! WHY. 
Michael Caine has claimed in interviews that he used his fee from this film to buy a house in LA. At least someone benefited from this insanity.

What a wonderful use of their time / effort!!!!

See all the previous movie posts here.


  1. "semi-elderly" teehee. but look at his fabulous hair. also the last screen shot, you are hilarious. geoff and i died from laughing one night watching anaconda (esp. the wink part).

  2. I remember watching this as a kid and being terrified with the scene of the kid in the car. But that's all I remember... luckily for me ;D

  3. I usually see these and think oh another movie post, cuz generally I'm not really drawn to the older movies but then I read them anyway cuz your comments make them so amusing. I especially love the last bit on this one. "What a wonderful use of their time/effort!" Also if I could do a shit movie and get a house out of it, I totally would (ah the actor's life).


Thanks for your comment you wonderful person you.